I have truly
struggled with being a stay at home mom.
I love my babies, but being alone with just my sweet kiddos all day
takes its toll on me. I severely underestimated
the effect leaving my teaching job behind to devote my whole life to tending to
my family would have on me. I also never
thought that almost 6 years later I still would be at home. When I left my job at Palo Duro, I had every
intention of going back, sooner rather than later. Now I have no idea if that’s what I want to
do anymore. For as long as I can
remember my whole goal in life was to survive middle/high school, go to
college, get a teaching job, get married, and have kids. I did all of those things, not exactly in
that order, but I did them. Some of it
was through true hard work and grit, and some of it was be the grace of
God. I will be 33 next month and now I
feel like it’s time to make new goals.
While I
know I need to make new goals, change is scary.
I have spent too many years being scared of making new friends and
trying new things. The combination of
these two fears has held me back from an innumerable relationships and
experiences. Over the past two years I
have started spending too much time in my house. In the beginning, I took Holden to baby music
class and other things outside of the house.
Slowly I just quit doing those things, it’s much easier to just stay in
the house and do nothing all day. Don’t
get me wrong, I don’t want to stay home and do nothing all day, but after a
while you get lonely, you get depressed, and you just stay home.
For the
first time ever I have outlined the things I want to accomplish this year and
the changes I need to make. Some of them
are small and some of them will require much more fortitude. If you stay at home with your littles I'm sure you have some of the same struggles.
Goals
for This Year
1. Get up and shower and get ready before kids get up.
2. Stay off Facebook it just stresses you out and makes you
sad.
3. Take kids outside more – don’t hole up in the house –
this too makes you super sad.
4. Joined the gym… now
go workout and a to a class. Nobody
cares what you look like.
5. Save your damn money and pay off debts. Disney World with the kids is better than
having some random Target shit.
6. Find a Bible study or go back to MOPS, you need other mom
friends.
7. No more Law & Order SVU
marathons – it’s horrible, sad, and depressing and no one needs to watch that
crap.
8. Remember to brush teeth every night no matter how tired
you are.
9. Take vitamins.
10. No people.com – there’s nothing on there you or anyone
else with an IQ over 13 needs to know about.
11. Keep kitchen clean – floor mopped , no dirty dishes, etc.
12. Color when you can to relax.
13. Read a book a week, no more of this 2 months to finish a
book you could read in 3 days bs.
14. Start grad school and
find your purpose outside of being a wife and mom.
